Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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