Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
