Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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