Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
