I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
