Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
