it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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