im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am naked and annoyed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize