This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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