he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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