When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
