also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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