So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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