hotel room ftw
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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