smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
