Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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