Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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