apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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