Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
