did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
