so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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