my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
