So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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