My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you had me at cake vodka
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
