So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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