This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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