then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
