when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
