You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
