i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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