does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love you. Go after that dick
My feet surprised me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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