he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
