Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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