bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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