I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
