guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vodka?
Forever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
