think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize