But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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