I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
