Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
