If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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