So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
BRING THE BAGELS
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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