My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
