if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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