This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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