Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
