im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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