dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
