Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
