My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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