i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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