I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
