Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
