I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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