i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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