they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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