he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize