if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
