Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how drunk are you?
Several
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
